The Exit Of The Molars

"I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse."

For my whole life, my 3rd molars (otherwise known as ‘wisdom teeth’) have been intact within my mouth.  The top teeth had erupted long ago and were impacted, facing outwards.  The bottom teeth were also impacted although they hadn’t really erupted.

They’d been hurting for a while and I was looking at doing some kind of orthodontics so it became time for those excess teeth to come out.

This morning, I finally had those teeth out.  I was put under general anaesthetic and awoke around an hour later less four teeth.  And, wow, that medication was pretty awesome.  But once the anaesthetic wore off and the numbing agent in my mouth started to come out… there was a whole lot of hurt there.

I mean, I’d had surgery there.  Four teeth yanked by whatever means necessary and then my gums, one of the more tender parts of your body, were stitched in four separate spots.  So where there’s hurt, there is guaranteed to be a little swelling.

Or, a lot.

I’d put some ice on my face but there wasn’t anything to keep my face from swelling up and making me look like a chipmunk.  Rather than trying to imitate a rodent, I’ve chosen to mimic Don Corleone.  Poorly.

“Some day, and that day may never come, I will call upon you to do a service for me.”

I’m hoping that the swelling goes down over the night.  And I’m also hoping that my mouth stops hurting so fucking much because I’m really sick of eating apple sauce and drinking beef broth or bottles of Ensure.  Right now, I’d kill for… well… anything solid.  Mmm… food.


About El Jefe

He's been called a despot, a humanitarian, a philanthropist, a dumbass and "one sexy bitch". The bottom line is that it's all true... and it's a full-time gig.

Posted on September 23, 2010, in The desk of the King and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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