I can’t believe it. I went 38-12 on a match, playing on Storm and got a 24 kill streak… WITH my Tactical Nuke turned ON. Time ran out before I could get the 25th kill and throw it out there.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuckity-fuck-fuck.
(And, in case you weren’t sure… I’ve never called in a Nuke before. Did I say ‘fuck’? Because I meant, ‘FUUUUUCK’!!)
In hockey, there is the term ‘hat-trick’ which refers to a player scoring three goals in a single game. The origins of the word can be researched here: Hat-trick (Wikipedia).
Building off of the momentum of one of hockeys most celebrated feats of skill, a new term has arisen called the ‘shat-trick’, which of course refers to someone taking three shits in a single day. Gruesome to some, celebrated by others.
It would be me that would have to take the glory of the shat-trick, elevate its importance and then attribute a Life Achievement to it. So, I unveil the challenge:
I’ll Be In My Office
In order to complete this challenge, you must score a shat-trick in a single shift in your workplace.
And I’m not talking about going and sitting in a stall and squeezing off a few farts that echo off the tile… you have to be legitimately ‘conducting your business’ to complete this challenge.
And as a reward for completing this challenge, in true Modern Warfare 2 fashion, you unlock yourself a title:
It was about one year ago that I was in the same situation as I am now. Yes, once again, the Royal XBox 360 is dead.
I was one of hundreds of thousands of poor saps who had purchased an XBox 360 that suffered the Red Ring Of Death and, just over a year ago, that console up and died a most inconvenient death. Luckily for me, Microsoft was supporting this failure with a free repair. Rather than repairing this particular console and sending it back to me, I was sent a refurbished console for my troubles.
This year, it’s another failure. Of course, it couldn’t be another RROD which would be covered by Microsoft. This year, I’ve got to deal with a disc drive that won’t read the disc. The bill for this failure is going to be footed completely, 100% by the taxpayers of the NJLE.
I’m sure this comes as a shock for most people as Microsoft always provides quality products and genuinely cares about their customers.
Enter: the XBox 360S, Microsoft’s newest offering to the gaming world. Supposedly, the heat and fan issues have been resolved with this newest console, making it quieter and increasing it’s life. Well, one could hope that it would be longer than a year, anyway.
I’ve been seriously considering going out and buying myself one of these new consoles, transferring my data to it and then sending my old white, matte box off to Microsoft for repair before donating it to the youth of the NJLE. That’s one of my current considerations, anyway.
What’s the other consideration?
The other thing that I’ve pondered is giving Bill Gates and his behemoth software empire a gigantic shove-off and buying a Sony Playstation 3. Some of my favourite titles are available on the PS3 and it’s also got a Blu-Ray player embedded within it. That’s basically putting gaming and HD movies into one package; a package that I don’t have yet. I don’t necessarily want to buy a separate Blu-Ray DVD player. It would be like killing two birds with one stone… or just killing Bill’s lame duck with a Sony slingshot.
I don’t know… I’ve got a few options, I guess. Really, I just want to start playing Modern Warfare 2 again as quickly as possible. That being said, I also don’t want to lose all of the progress I have built thus far on the XBox Live system. So who knows. There’s one thing that is for certain: I’m just pretty sick of funnelling money into the technological money-pit that is known as Microsoft.
A colleague and I had previously discussed the idea of being able to integrate the XBox gaming perspective of gaming ‘Achievements’ into real-life. How you could do this… I have no idea but I’ve decided that here, on the NJLE site, that I am going to try and capture these moments when I can.
Today is Mother’s Day. For people who are of age to have moved out of their parent’s house, it’s customary to at least call your mother on the telephone.
I called my Mom this morning, shortly after waking up and getting my coffee (I mean, one must have their priorities in order!) to wish her a Happy Mother’s Day. We chatted for a bit when my Grandmother had come through the door at my parents’ house, so I chatted with her too. Before hanging up, my Mom mentioned that I was the first child to call her that morning.
Now, I’m going beyond XBox Achievements to make up a specific Modern Warfare 2 title/callsign to recognize my accomplishment of calling Mom on Mother’s Day before both of my siblings. And considering I talked to my Grandma at the same time, I think I also earned double XP for that move and get to be “Son Of The Year”.
Until next year, suckas!!
If there’s one thing the citizens of JeffLand like to do… it’s game. Without a doubt, we love our video games. We have almost every recent video game console available however our favorite is my XBox 360.
Since November of ’09, we’ve been on the Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 kick and there has been no stopping us. While the campaign mode is fun and difficult, it’s the allure of online play that beckons us back in front of that gorgeous 47″ LCD television time and time again.
As it turns out, every male citizen of JeffLand has been graced with an XBox Live profile by the Ministry Of The Interior. Although we all have accounts, the three youth members all have ‘Family Settings’ enabled and only the most junior Prince (who’s eight years old) lacks the Gold membership. XBox Live’s ‘Family Settings’ allow kids to talk to their friends while silencing everyone else they play with. As well, they can’t add friends without the parental figure inputting their password to give the parent control over who their kids are playing with and talking to. The boys give me grief about it however I stand firm by my decision; I’ve witnessed, first hand, some of the anti-social behavior of Neanderthal miscreants. Besides, I’m the King. My word is law ’round these parts.
Last week, my 12 month subscription for XBox Live ran out. The subscription is set to auto-renew with the payment coming from my credit card… so when the payment was returned due to the card being over it’s limit… my online status was left in limbo.
I had a gift card to Best Buy left over from Christmas so I went out and picked up a pre-paid Gold membership card. I though that would be the solution to all of my problems; little did I know that there was a transaction pending on my credit card that would put a stop on the whole works. I needed a valid credit card to input as a an alternate method of payment… however, at that point… that card would be charged and my pre-paid Live card would become redundant.
Obviously, I was at an impass. I had gone as far as I could go with the tools available to me. I would have to place my fate and the fate of JeffLand’s gaming public in the hands of a Microsoft customer service representative.
I’ve dealt with XBox Support before when my XBox 360 RROD’ed and the whole experience really crushed my soul… dealing with inept reps and getting bad information… it was a rough time. Because of this, I didn’t have much hope of having a rep being able to actually help me.
After being on the phone with the representative for ten minutes, he was able to fix my problem and get my Gold membership re-instated to get me back online.
…and an international incident has been averted!