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Check this fucking shit out

While I was in a meeting this morning, I apparently got paged by the front desk to move my car. Someone mentioned the page when I got back to my desk.

So I went out to figure out WTF and I wish I would have got a picture before I moved my car. I was the first person to park on the road this morning (I got to work at 7:00 am) so I don’t know who could have a problem with the way I parked since everyone else could just park around me.

Now, this photo was taken AFTER work. Like 5:30 pm. I moved my car around 10:00 am. And when I went out at 10:00, this silver car was parked about an inch and a half off my rear bumper. At 5:30, the car hadn’t moved.

This is the situation:

Fuck Winter

Fuck it. After 5 days and pushing out both my car and the Queen’s SUV seven separate times from the front of the palace, I have had it.

I’m done. Fucking finished.

The mess out front of the NJLE.

Luckily for my sanity and the welfare of anyone in my immediate vicinity, there appears to be a snow removal crew headed into the area. And their arrival is imminent. I’m just hoping that they opt to clear the crescent I live on rather than leave us to fend for ourselves like they did last year.

I’m just stating my position right now: I refuse to push another vehicle out from the front of my house. Especially when it’s mine. And my opinion of Edmonton? This city is fucked and both the near-sighted mayor and the short-sighted city council can go eat a dick.

Bastards.

The Theory & Practice Of 'Punchbuggy'

A 'Punchbuggy': the Volkwagen Beetle

There has arisen a crisis in the New JeffLand Empire; a crisis so dire that it has pushed me to lay down some ground rules for the code of conduct during the game of Punchbuggy.

For those who aren’t familiar with the game of Punchbuggy, it’s largely a travel game where participants are on the look out for Volkswagen Beetles. Once one of the players sights one of these cars he is to punch the arm or leg of another player while shouting the word “Punchbuggy”.

However, there are definite problems in JeffLand with the understanding of the basic rules of Punchbuggy. And part of the glory of Punchbuggy lies in its simplicity.

Rule #1: Only one person may call ‘Punchbuggy’ per car sighting.
Rule #2: The ‘Punchbuggy’ caller is entitled to one (1) hit/punch on one other player.
Rule #3: The caller must use their entitled hit/punch as soon as possible. Hits/punches cannot be saved for future use.

That’s it. ‘Punchbuggy’ is really that simple.

There are some, however, who would try to complicate this game by throwing in additional rules and tweaks into it. These additions are NOT part of the game and must be avoided. There are no rules stating that convertible punchbuggies are worth two hits or that the caller is allowed to hit everyone in the group once or even that more than one person can call the same punchbug.

Anything other than the rules prescribed above is a fraud and shall not be observed during normal play.

As well, there would be those who would create their own new game, ad-hoc, that are direct rip-offs of Punchbuggy. Games like ‘PT Bruiser’ or the ‘Focus Poke-us’ game fall into this category and are hereby outlawed.  Those caught participating in these rip-off games may be penalized to the full extent of the law and may even be put to death.  That’s how seriously the NJLE takes this matter.

Asshole Tickets

Some people are assholes and there seems to be no getting away from them. These assholes are often easily identifiable when it comes to their cars.

Some people take to writing the offending party notes and leaving them under their windshield wipers like they were a member of the Asshole Police, writing a ticket to some asshole who’s double parked in two handicapped stalls. Take a gander at these beauties:

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