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Royal Flush


The January Blues

To say that I have nothing to say would be an understatement. In the New Year of 2011, I’m just trying to keep my nose clean… which has proved to be a difficult task, considering how sick I’ve been since January the 3rd.

Of course, with the fallout of Christmas 2010 (pronounced ‘twenty-ten’ like the cool kids do) and the ensuing financial crisis that was inevitable, Rogers has opted to kill service to my iPhone on account of me not paying my bill.

The nerve, hey?

So, the thing that has been my link to the world has become a glorified paperweight any time I decide to leave my house. And considering I never answer the phone unless someone calls me on the iPhone, I guess I’m going to be hearing from everyone a lot less until my next payday.

As well, the electrical/water bill for the NJLE has teetered into the four figure dollar range due to a lapse in payment there as well.

Sometimes, you don’t see things until you really write them out like this… at least that’s what I find for myself. So, it has escaped my attention until now that I really need to clean house down in Accounts Receivable for the NJLE. Someone is really not doing their job and that person will have to be let go. If it weren’t in the constitution, I’d have them hanged or drawn and quartered… or something equally horrific.

I suppose that the potential could exist that JeffLand simply does not have adequate income to cover it’s expenses and would run a deficit, much like every other nation in the world. However, unlike every other nation in the world… there is no bank that’s willing to bail out the NJLE and allow us to run with a continually growing deficit. (Remind me to talk with world leaders at the next gathering of the United Nations to see how they do it.)

Western Pottery toilet

Really, what we’re going to have to do here is start tightening our belts. I will have to get the JeffLand maintenance crew out to deal with our Western Pottery toilets that seem to be a never-ending source of headaches and inefficiency. I have to get our crews to replace the tank guts for all three toilets and eliminate the problem.

Besides the running toilets, the weatherstripping around both the front and back doors is severely lacking and is dire need of replacement as well. Warm air getting out and cold air getting in… very inefficient.

In any case, we’re going to have to cut some corners and eliminate some of the frills to get this debt under control… or at least keep it from spiralling out of control.

“I’ll Be In My Office” (Life Achievement)

In hockey, there is the term ‘hat-trick’ which refers to a player scoring three goals in a single game. The origins of the word can be researched here: Hat-trick (Wikipedia).

Building off of the momentum of one of hockeys most celebrated feats of skill, a new term has arisen called the ‘shat-trick’, which of course refers to someone taking three shits in a single day. Gruesome to some, celebrated by others.

It would be me that would have to take the glory of the shat-trick, elevate its importance and then attribute a Life Achievement to it. So, I unveil the challenge:

I’ll Be In My Office

In order to complete this challenge, you must score a shat-trick in a single shift in your workplace.

And I’m not talking about going and sitting in a stall and squeezing off a few farts that echo off the tile… you have to be legitimately ‘conducting your business’ to complete this challenge.

And as a reward for completing this challenge, in true Modern Warfare 2 fashion, you unlock yourself a title:

For the shat-trick

...and I don't want to be disturbed!

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