Blog Archives

City of Edmonton To Dynamite Massive Snow Piles

One Of Edmonton's Snow Dumps

With the heavy snowfall experienced in the Capital region, snow dumps around the city have expanded to epic proportions, raising concern with city council that the piles may not be melted come the fall. This would, of course, pose a problem for snow disposal crews for the winter of 2011.

Core samples taken from the massive piles have proven that, due to the heavier than average quantity of snow and the use of heavy machinery to spread the snow, most of the interior of the piles are solid ice and would take substantially longer to melt.

In a drastic move by Edmonton city council, a motion was pushed through to use thousands of pounds of dynamite to break up these mountains of ice and expose their icy centers to the summer sun in hopes of melting them faster. Of course, not everyone is a fan of the idea.

Surrounding homes and businesses are concerned about the potential for flying ice debris causing property damage or even injury to those nearby. Despite these concerns, city council has decided to move ahead with the proposal.

“These locations have been chosen because of their distance from the residential and business centers. We’ve been assured that the risk to nearby public is minimal,” said Edmonton mayor, Steven Mandel.

No date has been set for the demolition of these snow dumps however experts predict it will likely be sometime in early May and adequate warning will be given to the surrounding communities prior to the explosions taking place.


Chicago Snowmaggedon? Oh, Please.


Illuminating the snow, not the Wrigley Building

Fuck Winter

Fuck it. After 5 days and pushing out both my car and the Queen’s SUV seven separate times from the front of the palace, I have had it.

I’m done. Fucking finished.

The mess out front of the NJLE.

Luckily for my sanity and the welfare of anyone in my immediate vicinity, there appears to be a snow removal crew headed into the area. And their arrival is imminent. I’m just hoping that they opt to clear the crescent I live on rather than leave us to fend for ourselves like they did last year.

I’m just stating my position right now: I refuse to push another vehicle out from the front of my house. Especially when it’s mine. And my opinion of Edmonton? This city is fucked and both the near-sighted mayor and the short-sighted city council can go eat a dick.


If This Week Was Turned Into A Movie…

It would have to be…

The Day After Tomorrow

The Day After Tomorrow

After some pretty sweet weather, we’ve been given a meteorological bitch-slap to remind us that this is still March and we ain’t out of the woods quite yet.

The Olympic Fever

Vancouver 2010

Vancouver 2010

We are about 24 hours into the 2010 Olympic Winter Games in Vancouver, Canada and if you are reading this blog, undoubtedly, the question on the tip of your tongue is, “who is representing JeffLand at the 2010 Olympics?  I didn’t see JeffLand during the opening ceremonies.”

Sadly, the population of JeffLand is so small that we don’t even have enough people to form a single hockey line, never mind a whole team.  Skiing isn’t our thing and JeffLand has taken an official stand against curling as a real sport.  And between luge and bobsledding, JeffLand doesn’t have enough real estate to actually build a track.

So there it is.  JeffLand is not represented at the Olympics.  Perhaps someday, we will be able to send someone to the Olympics but I’m not holding my breath.  Until the day that we do send someone, JeffLand will be officially throwing support behind Canada.

The RCMP carrying the flag

The RCMP carrying the flag

Of course, Canada has a long and illustrious history at the Olympics and on the world stage in general.  All JeffLandians were Canadians at one time (until JeffLand seceded from Canada) so it’s natural for us to cheer Canada on.

Given our penchant for hockey, naturally we are focused on Canada’s men’s hockey team as is much of every Canadian.  We have been following the NHL and with some of the insane talent that will be representing various nations, it is going to be an exciting Olympic hockey tournament.

As far as I’m concerned, Canada is a huge super power in the tournament however Sweden, Russia and the United States of America can’t be dismissed.  I just want the good guys to come out on top.

JeffLand Prevails!!!

There’s one thing about ruling a nation lying this far north; the weather can get very unruly in the winter months. Today, we experienced a day’s worth of falling snow which caused the drive home to be a little dicey. There were several accidents which turned my thirty minute commute into a full hour endeavor. The highways and by-ways were covered in snow and ice, making the roads slick and creating an overnight job for Edmonton’s snow removal crews.

Luckily for me, JeffLand is small and the snow removal budget can be kept to a minimum; some sidewalk salt and, at worst, a new snow shovel. Occaisionally, it may cost me a hot chocolate from Tim Hortons if I contract the work out to one of the princes.

However, with the Christmas season being so close, having tons of snow and extreme cold isn’t condusive to leaving the house to go shopping. As such, there isn’t much under the tree thus far. It hasn’t helped that we’ve taken a financial hit this year and money is tight. Much like every other nation in the world, JeffLand has felt the effects of the global recession. So we’ve tried to do what we can and pinch pennies where it’s possible.

Even with this financial strife, we’ll find a way. JeffLand prevails!!

%d bloggers like this: