29 Struggles Only Canadians Will Understand

This is so truthful that it almost hurts! #funny

Thought Catalog

1. Finding yourself regularly apologizing to inanimate objects that you bump into.

2. The uphill battle of texting with mittens on.

3. Faithfully buying roll-up-the-rim cups every day for two months, only to find the winner of the grand prize dug the cup out of a trashcan.

4. The tragic day in your life when you realized the house hippo doesn’t actually exist.

5. Having one of your major cities be known internationally as the city governed by the crack-smoking weirdo.

6. Quebec trying to break up with us every five minutes.

7. When traffic is held up by a flock of Canadian geese who are taking their sweet old time crossing the road.

8. Not being able to find a decent poutine or maple syrup when you go abroad.

9. Finding a sweet deal online — and then realizing you’re on the American version of the website.

10. Spellcheck refusing…

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Jimmy Fallon, Boy Wonder

This skit had me laughing so hard that I had to stop the video momentarily because I didn’t want to miss anything. OMG It’s fucking awesome.

Jimmy Fallon and Jason Statham Arm Wrestle

Absolutely Killer Cover of Nirvana’s Heart Shaped Box

 

Off Hiatus

It’s been over a year since the NJLE site has been updated… I know. Bad me.

The whole thing started with a major debacle involving my ownership of the domain newjefflandempire.com and finding the correct DNS servers to redirect to. In the end, both WordPress and 1and1.com were unable to resolve the issue for me so I said, “fuck it” and defaulted to the wordpress.com address that is free with the startup. That whole process took me months to get to and my interest in writing declined in this period. So whatevs.

The good news is that we’re back and the NJLE is as strong as it ever was.

And there’s so much that’s gone on in the past year that it’s hard to know where to start! I don’t want to overwhelm myself right now by trying to write everything out that has gone on but I’ll catch the site up gradually. 

Right now, though, the 2014 Winter Olympics are going on in Sochi, Russia and the round robin portion of the men’s hockey tournament has just completed. Canada is the 4th seed and will face the winner of Switzerland vs Latvia game that goes on tomorrow. Or… potentially in a few hours. The time difference between here and Sochi is killing me. LOL Really, I hope Latvia wins because the Swiss are a complete sleeper team capable of upsetting any team they play. We’ve seen it in the past and I don’t want to see Canada succumb to an upset at this point. Or ever.

Anyway, I really barfed when I originally saw the Team Canada jerseys designed by someone over at Nike however I admit that I really like them now. 

Team Canada Jerseys

For the Sochi 2014 Olympics.

 

In fact, I went and bought myself a red replica version of the jersey. Because if you are going to buy a Team Canada jersey and be patriotic, it’s gotta be a red one. In my opinion, anyway. The black ones are pretty sweet though too.

I’ll be watching the game tomorrow between the Swiss and Latvia with vested interest for sure. Go Canada!!

 

Halo vs Black Ops II

There are a few big name video games that have been released within the past few weeks on the XBox 360 and the buzz around the NJLE is surrounding Halo 4 and Call Of Duty: Black Ops II. The buzz hasn’t involved me, the King, but rather the princes. Two of the three of them are pretty stoked about these games… and if Meatloaf has taught us anything, it’s that two out of three ain’t bad.

I can appreciate the epic nature of the Halo series. It’s got a pretty solid storyline with just enough mystery to suck you in and then the beautiful and fun gameplay? It’s a recipe for success. It’s really too bad that my video game palate has been wrecked by Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3… the crack cocaine of FPS games. I did play through the entire Halo 3 campaign and was completely enamoured with it. 

While my feelings regarding the Call of Duty abominations that Treyarch keeps producing are no secret, I’m not sure that I’ve put them to words here. So here goes:

Call of Duty: Black Ops was the biggest piece of crap that I’ve played in a long time. Well, since World At War anyway. Treyarch somehow keeps getting the nod from Activision to keep doing work for them when the Modern Warfare side of the franchise is infinitely better. Granted, Activision has pretty much run off all of the talent from Infinity Ward that was responsible for the incredible start to the Modern Warfare series but… that’s no excuse to give money to these bums who are responsible for Black Ops etc.

The only thing work saving in the Treyarch games are the zombie horde facet. Other than that, fuck it.

I’m pretty open to the boys playing Halo 4 however I know that they really want COD: BO2 but I’m hoping that continually disappoint them. Classic.

 

I hope some kind of vigilante justice is doled out on this fucking asshole.

Birfday Cat

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This Is A Pretty Good Start

My load-out is a silenced SCAR-L and a SMAW with various other items of no consequence. Off the top of the match, I managed to get those first four kills (+ a flag capture) and then call in the Predator missile for a whopping 4 kill multi-kill! Naturally, I called in my Attack Helicopter which would get me an additional two kills and get me the AC-130! While I was in the AC-130 viewscreen, my Attack Heli continued to eat and kill opposing players. Once my helicopter was done and I was finished in the AC-130, I took the screenshot below and went about my business. My killstreak ended at 21.

I did manage to go on and finish the game 33-8 as per the other screenshot below.

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